Life is a struggle. Not only in the broad sense between good and evil, just and unjust, predator and prey, but also in the little things. It is a struggle to do my job right now. It seems things just keep coming up that hinder my plans. I have been nervous, agitated at times, and finally just break into laughter to blow off the steam of how ridiculously complicated life can be. You try to build something (not just buildings-- think your character, your family, your track record of success), and things come along that just blow it all apart, and these blowups can happen frequently.

Now a confession, I have a streak of lazy despair in me. When I struggle, or fail and try to re-route to success in my life, I find that that re-routing is only for a time. Seems like Achebe's title to his piece "Things Fall Apart" fits here, and when things keep falling apart, I want to throw in the towel. I want to be lazy, or fall into some depressed funk. Yet, I know that my life is more important than the mistakes I make along the way, what matters a heap load is what kind of person I become in this process. Do I become that cynical, apathetic soul? Or do I gather my courage and man-up? Do I allow the struggle to shape me into Christ-likeness or do I take the easy way and fall apart too? I know what I got to do, because God doesn't allow us to live in a problematic world for no reason. I know He lets us live in this kind of world because how we respond to it is proof of what He can do when things dismantle before our eyes--that is He is the Rock in this stormy sea. When we cling to Him his grace shines. It's not that we can conquer all our problems, but that through Him I can have faith that ultimately, problems will not make us fall entirely, rather we fall into His arms, and everybody will see what holds us up when nothing else does.

soli deo gloria